Tag: present

Pessimism vs. Realism – Get Real with Yourself

“Pessimism is an excuse for not trying, and a guarantee to a personal failure.”

Bill Clinton

I’ll get straight to the point – your outlook on life is the deciding factor of your life’s trajectory. There’s a spectrum of outlooks, from overly optimistic to dangerously pessimistic. Pessimism, or the tendency to only see the worst in life, will fill your mind with negative thoughts that prohibit you from developing aspirations and maximizing on your potential. The problem is that most people who are pessimistic falsely interpret this outlook as being realistic – it is not.

Realism is defined as the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly. Whether you’re a realistic or unrealistic person is not the same thing as whether you’re optimistic or pessimistic because you can accept a situation for what it is and still have a negative outlook on what caused the situation and thus how to handle it “accordingly”.

Let’s say you arrive at work and your manager randomly asks to speak with you. As a pessimist, your initial thoughts might be that you’re in trouble because you assume they wouldn’t want to speak with you otherwise. By allowing these negative thoughts to fester, you’ve unconsciously gone into your meeting nervous, insecure, or even angry (which is probably a defense mechanism for your vulnerability). This perspective snowballs into negative thoughts, negative attitudes, and ultimately negative perceptions of who you actually are.

Quit holding yourself back. It’s possible to be a realistic person with an optimistic perspective on life so that you can motivate yourself to work towards your goals no matter the hurdles you face. And if this article doesn’t really apply to you, share it with a friend who could use the wake-up call!

I’m always working to be a better version of myself and hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you – comment below!

Make Way for Your Future: Letting Go of the Past

” You only struggle because you’re ready to grow but aren’t willing to let go.”

Drew Gerald

We’re human. Things happen; we make mistakes. And granted, in the moment these mistakes can have an impact on your daily life or affect those around you in a negative way. But, the beautiful thing about mistakes is that, whether we realize it or not, they help us grow as individuals. Mistakes are lessons learned on our life journey as we work to continuously discover who we are and what our passion is. But what do you do when your mistake overwhelms you and consumes your vision of life’s bigger picture? What do you do when you are so stuck in your past, you can’t appreciate your present or envision your future?

We’re all guilty of doing it – living in the past. What we fail to realize is that by living in the past you’re creating a mentally-weak habit and letting valuable time slip away. As young individuals, we need to maximize on the time we have in order to make a positive difference in our own lives and those around us. To do that, it’s critical to learn how to appreciate the present while working towards the future. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of relaying everything to your past, here are some tips to help:

Make clearly defined long-term goals (and keep them accessible) – having clearly-defined goals that you can refer to at any given moment keeps life in perspective for you. Take this situation for example; I’ve set a goal to lose ten pounds in 3 months by following a diet and working out. I keep this goal with me in my journal or on my phone so I can see it whenever I want. One day I’m out with friends and decide I want a burger and milkshake even though it’s not my cheat day and not a part of my diet. Well if I have my long-term goal easily accessible and at the forefront of my mind, this “mistake” doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me. After all, I’m referring to my goal on a regular basis to track my progress and so I’m holding myself accountable, I know how much time I have left to achieve my goal, and I can envision my future. But if I set this goal without clearly defining it and keep it in my drawer at home, this meal might give me the false impression that there’s no coming back from this “mistake” and I should give up altogether.

Talk it out with your support system – We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to being there for ourselves. I know first-hand about giving great advice to my friends and not myself. That’s why it’s so important you have that person, or that group of friends, that you can go to whenever something you can’t shake off has happened. More times than not, your support system will be able to keep you level-headed and help you see that whatever is holding you back is really not worth it.

One last tip: Don’t allow your past to hinder your future. Shift your perspective to one that is grateful for the present and working towards the future. If you’ve made a mistake, want to avoid moving forward, and grow from the experience – try writing down your mistake, what you would in the same situation moving forward, and what you learned about yourself from the experience. You’d be surprised at how building self-awareness allows you grow as a person.

I’m always working to be a better version of myself & hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you on your thoughts/ journey – comment below!

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