independent – POTENCIA

Pessimism vs. Realism – Get Real with Yourself

“Pessimism is an excuse for not trying, and a guarantee to a personal failure.”
Bill Clinton

I’ll get straight to the point – your outlook on life is the deciding factor of your life’s trajectory. There’s a spectrum of outlooks, from overly optimistic to dangerously pessimistic. Pessimism, or the tendency to only see the worst in life, will fill your mind with negative thoughts that prohibit you from developing aspirations and maximizing on your potential. The problem is that most people who are pessimistic falsely interpret this outlook as being realistic – it is not.

Realism is defined as the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly. Whether you’re a realistic or unrealistic person is not the same thing as whether you’re optimistic or pessimistic because you can accept a situation for what it is and still have a negative outlook on what caused the situation and thus how to handle it “accordingly”.

Let’s say you arrive at work and your manager randomly asks to speak with you. As a pessimist, your initial thoughts might be that you’re in trouble because you assume they wouldn’t want to speak with you otherwise. By allowing these negative thoughts to fester, you’ve unconsciously gone into your meeting nervous, insecure, or even angry (which is probably a defense mechanism for your vulnerability). This perspective snowballs into negative thoughts, negative attitudes, and ultimately negative perceptions of who you actually are.

Quit holding yourself back. It’s possible to be a realistic person with an optimistic perspective on life so that you can motivate yourself to work towards your goals no matter the hurdles you face. And if this article doesn’t really apply to you, share it with a friend who could use the wake-up call!

I’m always working to be a better version of myself and hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you – comment below!

How Journaling Can Change Your Life

“[Journaling] – It’s like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time”
Mina Murray

All of us (yes, that includes you) have daily routines we follow to get through the day which allows us to make room in our brains to process the more complicated thoughts/situations in our lives – like our goals. But often, the physical and mental toll of a work day or assigned homework or project can leave us yearning for the off-button. This overwhelming feeling can lead to a shift in focus from striving for the goals we set for ourselves, to simply trying to “make it through the day”. The problem with trying to make it through the day every day is that we subconsciously fall into a cycle of existence and un-fulfillment.

The solution?

Journaling – and no it’s not just for women. The benefits of journaling apply to everyone and here are just a few:

Become more accountable for your goals – When you tell your friend that you plan on getting the latest technology, don’t you feel more obligated to do so? After all, you’ve already set the expectation that you’re going to and don’t want to be the type of person whose word is not trusted. Well, the same concept applies to yourself. When you write your goals down you’re basically telling yourself what you plan to accomplish and revisiting your promise to yourself will naturally make you feel more inclined to work towards those goals so you can prove your achievements to yourself.

Let out all your frustrations, whenever you want – We deal with a lot in a day, regardless of our situations. Instead of letting these frustrations build up and multiply in our minds, journaling allows you to take a few minutes to express your feelings about a situation. More importantly, by journaling you assess the magnitude of the situation before allowing it to consume your thoughts for the rest of the day. In doing so, the result is you feeling less overwhelmed and better equipped to handle the day-to-day battles we all face in life.

Never forget your accomplishments – Give yourself credit for working hard! With a journal, it’s easy to write down your achievements, no matter how small or large. It’s easy to forget what you’ve achieved in life so far when you’re so focused on your present and future. By having access to your list of achievements, you can easily remind yourself just how awesome you are in times where life might seem a little down.

Consistent journaling helps shed light on your good habits and achievements while exposing your tendencies that could use some tweaking. It brings your subconscious thoughts to the forefront and helps you adjust your mentality towards life. If you haven’t tried it yet, because you’ve never put a lot of thought into it or because you’re worried what others might think, quit holding yourself back; it might just change your life.

I’m always working to be a better version of myself & hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you on your thoughts/ journey – comment below!

The Power of Affirmations: Choosing Confidence

“One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”
Dalai Lama

Confidence – a concept rarely spoken of as a choice and often spoken of as a “either ya’ got it or ya’ don’t” trait. The truth is that confidence lies within each and every one of us; and it’s up to us to decide whether we want to allow it to help mold us.

“If it’s such an easy choice, then why aren’t more people confident in themselves?”

The answer is simple – consistent practice of affirmations.

Let’s face it, we live in a time of instant gratification– instant responses, instant media, instant food. But for those who are not given confidence from our environment (family, friends, society, etc.), learning to believe in yourself and be confident in the qualities you uniquely possess requires the consistent practice of affirmations. This means training yourself to rely on your own opinion instead of those around you. Don’t wait for a certain number of likes on a photo to decide whether you’re looking good or not. Don’t rely solely on the support around you (though you should always be grateful) to help talk you down when you’re overwhelmed with work and life and losing confidence in your abilities. Don’t decide what traits you like about yourself based on what your circle thinks. Instead, rely on yourself – yes, it’s possible!

How do you do this? Here are a few tips:

Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones – when you’re feeling down over your quality of work, stressed over deadlines, worried about falling behind in school and feeling hopeless, stop and take a deep breath. Remind yourself of the characteristics you love about yourself and how they’ll help you get your tasks done. Then segregate those tasks into manageable steps!

Make an affirmations list – keep a list of positive statements about yourself, either in your phone or journal (whatever you keep with you most of the time). When you’re feeling down immediately read this list and give yourself a reason why these statements are true. Examples of affirmations include listing the traits you’re proud of or noting your accomplishments that remind you of your capabilities.

Face yourself when speaking – it’s a lot easier to let your negative thoughts consume you when you’re not facing yourself so take a good look in the mirror every morning and remind yourself of your unique qualities and the immense opportunities that lie behind discovering that confidence.

The key is to be consistent. By constantly combatting your negative thoughts with positive and resourceful ones, you’re improving your state of mind – the most essential component to navigate through life. Over time, what used to be a conscious task will become effortless – giving you the realization that confidence is a choice and anything we strive for can be achieved with confidence, commitment, and consistency.

I’m always working to be a better version of myself & hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you on your thoughts/ journey – comment below!