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Overcoming Fear with W.I.T.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
Jack Canfield

Fear. It’s intangible, and yet, at times overbearing. It keeps us from putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations and thus keeps us from growing and fulfilling our potential. And it’s completely normal. Without the ability to feel fear, we would be unable to feel its opposing emotions such as exhilaration and confidence. But how do we push fear to the side when it comes to our goals and aspirations?

Here’s one way: by creating W.I.T. statements.

A “What if – Then” statement, or a W.I.T. statement as I call it, allows you to address your fear by answering what would happen if it occurred. By doing so, you can mentally prepare yourself for your “worst” possible scenario and get fear out the way of your ultimate goal. Here’s an example: you want to go to the gym but are afraid of people judging you. Your W.I.T. statement could look something like this:

“What if I go to the gym and people laugh at me for not knowing how to use the machines? Then:

I’ll use their laughter as motivation to figure it out; or
I’ll put the music volume up in my headphones to drown out my surroundings; or
I won’t care because I don’t know who they are anyways”

Hopefully, by creating your W.I.T. statement, you can work get one step closer to overcoming your fear of both judgement and the gym and achieved your goal of working out. Fear is normal and expected when challenging yourself. But it’s important we don’t limit our potential our of fear of the unknown. We all have it in us to push fear aside and crush our goals!

Quit holding yourself back – It doesn’t work unless you try!

I’m always working to be a better version of myself and hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you – comment below!

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Saving vs. “Living Life”

“Don’t save what is left after spending; spend what is left after saving.”
Warren Buffet

With social media at our fingertips 24/7, it’s easy to get caught up in the lives others are living (or pretending to live). With that, there’s been a shift in the mindset of young adults from saving their money to spending it as soon as they can, or “living life”.

“Well what’s the point of working if I can’t spend the money I make?”

If you’re asking this question, you have the wrong idea of the purpose of saving. For me, there are two main reasons to save:

To have a rainy day fund – you’re on your way to work and your tire pops; the washer in your house starts leaking; you’re playing your favorite sport and break a tooth or leg – things happen when we least expect it. The best way to combat these situations is to be prepared as best you can by saving your money ahead of time. Otherwise you’ll be left scrambling, stressed, and broke.
To spend on things I truly want – you’ve been so busy “living life” – buying new clothes every week and eating out at fancy restaurants (that are out of your budget) everyday, that when it comes time for that big purchase of something you truly do want, you don’t have the money to get it. Think twice about the smaller purchases you’re frequently making because that money could be saved towards a larger and more desirable purchase in the future like a trip to a new place, an opportunity to see your favorite singer, etc.

The truth is, you don’t have to choose between saving your money and “living life”.

Instead, choose between being responsible and irresponsible with your finances. It is possible to be responsible with your finances, save your hard earned money, and also live life by spending it occasionally on the things you really want. It’s time to quick holding yourself back by thinking for the now instead of the future. It’s true, tomorrow isn’t promised; but just in case it comes, it’s better to plan for living it as well.

I’m always working to be a better version of myself and hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you – comment below!

Reading is Power, or Did You Forget?

“Reading is a way to expand your mind, open your eyes, and fill up your heart.”
Oprah Winfrey

As kids, we’re taught to read for fun. As teens, we’re taught to read for answers. In college, we pay extra for notes – and barely read those. Along the way, we forget how important reading is for our minds and our progress in life.

Reading allows you to strengthen your mind’s ability to focus and interpret words. It allows you to see life and new experiences from a different perspective. Reading gives you information that can be used to spark conversation at home, with friends, and even in the workplace. It’s a power tool, and while young millennials spend an hour scrolling through posts that don’t teach them anything, the wealthy are reading for hours a day to grow their minds and their pockets.

Don’t believe me? Google how often Oprah Winfrey, Warren Buffett, or Barack Obama read! These are wealthy, successful individuals who constantly urge young adults to expand their mind in order to make a difference in our own lives and the lives of others.

Try this: challenge yourself to pick up any book, or listen to an audiobook, of your interest and give yourself a deadline to have read it by. Hold yourself accountable by telling a friend, writing it in your journal, making it your screensaver – you get it. I guarantee you’ll have not only learned something new, you’ll feel accomplished in achieving your goal.

Quit holding yourself back – It doesn’t work unless you try!

I’m always working to be a better version of myself and hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you – comment below!

Pessimism vs. Realism – Get Real with Yourself

“Pessimism is an excuse for not trying, and a guarantee to a personal failure.”
Bill Clinton

I’ll get straight to the point – your outlook on life is the deciding factor of your life’s trajectory. There’s a spectrum of outlooks, from overly optimistic to dangerously pessimistic. Pessimism, or the tendency to only see the worst in life, will fill your mind with negative thoughts that prohibit you from developing aspirations and maximizing on your potential. The problem is that most people who are pessimistic falsely interpret this outlook as being realistic – it is not.

Realism is defined as the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly. Whether you’re a realistic or unrealistic person is not the same thing as whether you’re optimistic or pessimistic because you can accept a situation for what it is and still have a negative outlook on what caused the situation and thus how to handle it “accordingly”.

Let’s say you arrive at work and your manager randomly asks to speak with you. As a pessimist, your initial thoughts might be that you’re in trouble because you assume they wouldn’t want to speak with you otherwise. By allowing these negative thoughts to fester, you’ve unconsciously gone into your meeting nervous, insecure, or even angry (which is probably a defense mechanism for your vulnerability). This perspective snowballs into negative thoughts, negative attitudes, and ultimately negative perceptions of who you actually are.

Quit holding yourself back. It’s possible to be a realistic person with an optimistic perspective on life so that you can motivate yourself to work towards your goals no matter the hurdles you face. And if this article doesn’t really apply to you, share it with a friend who could use the wake-up call!

I’m always working to be a better version of myself and hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you – comment below!

Practice Makes Perfect – What Are You Perfecting?

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Aristotle

Is social media the first thing you check when you open your eyes? Then it’s no surprise you find yourself on Instagram or Twitter throughout the day without consciously opening the app. Do you get home and immediately turn the TV on every day to “unwind”? Then it’s no surprise you’d have the remote buttons memorized while you scroll through shows for the rest of the night.

It’s important to recognize and understand two things:

1. It’s not enough to set a goal; you must identify what habits you want to form to achieve that goal

2. You get better at what you practice consistently

Let’s say your goal is to save an extra $100 by the end of the month for the next year. Great, you’ve set your goal. However, habitually, you spend $50 from each check going out to eat with friends. Well, if you’ve set your goal without identifying what habit you want to change or adopt, you’ll have saved $0 by the end of the month.

You master what you practice consistently. That means the first month you choose to say no to friends in order to save your money towards your goal is going to be hard. But if by the middle of the year you remain firm with the expectations you’ve set for yourself, saving your money and finding alternatives like inviting friends over for a movie night will become second nature; and as a result, you’ll achieve your goal and feel empowered to strive for more.

Quit holding yourself back by staying committed to habits you know are detrimental. Set your goal, set the habits you’ll adopt to achieve your goal, and hold yourself accountable for your actions in whichever way works best for you (some people tell their friends, others journal to declare the expectation). You master what you practice consistently – what are you perfecting?

I’m always working to be a better version of myself and hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you – comment below!

Moving to a New City: Tips for Success

“If we were meant to stay in one place, we would have roots instead of feet.”
Rachel Wolchin

Your first time moving to a new city can be intimidating. Aside from the more obvious concerns like living arrangements, there are other just-as-important factors that are often forgotten or ignored until it’s too late. Whether you’re just thinking about moving or in the process of making the change, here are few tips to help you successfully plan and transition to your new home:

▪ Living proximity to necessities – when apartment hunting, your primary concern will be proximity to your job; however, it’s just as important to consider your proximity to living necessities like grocery stores, pharmacies, and your favorite activities. If you neglect these aspects, you’ll end up spending more than you intend (or can afford) on food, delivery fees, and hygienic products. Aside from the financial burden, if you don’t consider the proximity to your favorite activities, it’ll be extremely easy to forget your reasons for moving in the first place which can ultimately lead to a feeling of regret or depression.

▪ Wardrobe essentials – with the chaos of moving, it’s easy to forget the seasonal changes you’ll face in the upcoming future. As a result, you’ll wait ‘till last minute to get the items you need – albeit a new coat, better shoes, or necessary bottoms – and miss out on the sales. Don’t be this person! In your planning stages of moving, when you’re budgeting your expenses, identify the seasons you’ll experience, research peak shopping times for that season, and set aside money to spend on an appropriate wardrobe if you don’t already own it.

▪ Meeting new people – the level of difficulty associated with making new & lasting connections depends on your personality, for some it’s effortless and for others it’s exhausting. The good news is that with the level of technology in our society and the increasing desire to grow and relate as whole, networking is easier than ever. Use the internet to find events you’d be interested in and use those events to meet individuals you would otherwise not meet on the way home from work who share similar interests as you. When moving to a new city it is essential to expose yourself to a variety of activities and networking events to build a community of people you can feel comfortable around.

There’s a lot that goes into moving to a new city, and frankly it would be impossible to dissect it all in a post; but hopefully these tips can provide an additional level of guidance when embarking on a new journey. What’s important to takeaway is this – do your research, save as much as you can for unexpected expenses (because they will happen!), and don’t feel discouraged by the hardships you’ll face as they can only make you stronger.

I’m always working to be a better version of myself and hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you – comment below!

Make Way for Your Future: Letting Go of the Past

” You only struggle because you’re ready to grow but aren’t willing to let go.”
Drew Gerald

We’re human. Things happen; we make mistakes. And granted, in the moment these mistakes can have an impact on your daily life or affect those around you in a negative way. But, the beautiful thing about mistakes is that, whether we realize it or not, they help us grow as individuals. Mistakes are lessons learned on our life journey as we work to continuously discover who we are and what our passion is. But what do you do when your mistake overwhelms you and consumes your vision of life’s bigger picture? What do you do when you are so stuck in your past, you can’t appreciate your present or envision your future?

We’re all guilty of doing it – living in the past. What we fail to realize is that by living in the past you’re creating a mentally-weak habit and letting valuable time slip away. As young individuals, we need to maximize on the time we have in order to make a positive difference in our own lives and those around us. To do that, it’s critical to learn how to appreciate the present while working towards the future. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of relaying everything to your past, here are some tips to help:

Make clearly defined long-term goals (and keep them accessible) – having clearly-defined goals that you can refer to at any given moment keeps life in perspective for you. Take this situation for example; I’ve set a goal to lose ten pounds in 3 months by following a diet and working out. I keep this goal with me in my journal or on my phone so I can see it whenever I want. One day I’m out with friends and decide I want a burger and milkshake even though it’s not my cheat day and not a part of my diet. Well if I have my long-term goal easily accessible and at the forefront of my mind, this “mistake” doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me. After all, I’m referring to my goal on a regular basis to track my progress and so I’m holding myself accountable, I know how much time I have left to achieve my goal, and I can envision my future. But if I set this goal without clearly defining it and keep it in my drawer at home, this meal might give me the false impression that there’s no coming back from this “mistake” and I should give up altogether.

Talk it out with your support system – We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to being there for ourselves. I know first-hand about giving great advice to my friends and not myself. That’s why it’s so important you have that person, or that group of friends, that you can go to whenever something you can’t shake off has happened. More times than not, your support system will be able to keep you level-headed and help you see that whatever is holding you back is really not worth it.

One last tip: Don’t allow your past to hinder your future. Shift your perspective to one that is grateful for the present and working towards the future. If you’ve made a mistake, want to avoid moving forward, and grow from the experience – try writing down your mistake, what you would in the same situation moving forward, and what you learned about yourself from the experience. You’d be surprised at how building self-awareness allows you grow as a person.

I’m always working to be a better version of myself & hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you on your thoughts/ journey – comment below!

Healthy Spending: Treat Yourself Without Going Broke!

“A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.”
Dave Ramsey

I think it’s safe to say we all ask ourselves this question before we buy something we want, but don’t necessarily need. Especially when social media makes it seem like everyone is treating themselves, all the time. And there isn’t anything wrong with it – as long as you’re making sure your business is handled before splurging. As a young individual, I recognize that before any celebrity or social media influencer is able to buy the luxuries they post, they made sure (or should have made sure) they paid their bills and themselves (your savings is a bill and your payment to yourself, take it seriously!). With this in mind, I’ve developed some habits when it comes to spending so I can feel good about my purchases knowing I won’t be stressed about my phone bill or rent later – they might help you too:

Budget myself on payday – I like to plan my spending once the money is in my account so I know the total amount of cash I have to work with until my next check. We live in a modern time, where purchases might be difficult to budget to the cent. That’s why I always overestimate my expenses to give myself a safety net. By budgeting myself in this manner, there’s normally some left over cash in my account before my direct deposit hits. What to do with that leftover cash is a judgement call based on your priorities. If you know you’ll have a doctor’s appointment or need to get a tire fixed, use that cash towards that necessity. Otherwise send it your savings and forget about it.

Separate my “survival cash” from my healthy spending cash – every paycheck I put aside a set amount I know I’ll need until my next check for groceries, transportation, etc. This is my “survival cash” and I do not spend it on clothes or whatever else I may want because I’d be hurting myself in the long term. Every one’s survival cash amount differs. I came to my mine by estimating the amount I spend between each paycheck to pay for food, transportation, and any necessities like soap, shampoo, etc. After I subtract my over-estimated expenses (including my savings amount) and survival cash, I make the choice to use any left-over cash towards healthy spending or adding it to my savings.

Pay cash, don’t swipe – overspending when you shop is typical. To avoid it, I take out the amount in cash I’ve decided to spend on wants instead of needs after budgeting myself to make sure I don’t overspend.

The point is this – healthy, guilt-free spending happens when you take control of your finances and make sure you’re taking care of your responsibilities (including your savings!) before making impulse buying decisions. Try it and share your experience; you’ll thank yourself in the future for doing so!

I’m always working to be a better version of myself & hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you on your thoughts/ journey – comment below!

How Journaling Can Change Your Life

“[Journaling] – It’s like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time”
Mina Murray

All of us (yes, that includes you) have daily routines we follow to get through the day which allows us to make room in our brains to process the more complicated thoughts/situations in our lives – like our goals. But often, the physical and mental toll of a work day or assigned homework or project can leave us yearning for the off-button. This overwhelming feeling can lead to a shift in focus from striving for the goals we set for ourselves, to simply trying to “make it through the day”. The problem with trying to make it through the day every day is that we subconsciously fall into a cycle of existence and un-fulfillment.

The solution?

Journaling – and no it’s not just for women. The benefits of journaling apply to everyone and here are just a few:

Become more accountable for your goals – When you tell your friend that you plan on getting the latest technology, don’t you feel more obligated to do so? After all, you’ve already set the expectation that you’re going to and don’t want to be the type of person whose word is not trusted. Well, the same concept applies to yourself. When you write your goals down you’re basically telling yourself what you plan to accomplish and revisiting your promise to yourself will naturally make you feel more inclined to work towards those goals so you can prove your achievements to yourself.

Let out all your frustrations, whenever you want – We deal with a lot in a day, regardless of our situations. Instead of letting these frustrations build up and multiply in our minds, journaling allows you to take a few minutes to express your feelings about a situation. More importantly, by journaling you assess the magnitude of the situation before allowing it to consume your thoughts for the rest of the day. In doing so, the result is you feeling less overwhelmed and better equipped to handle the day-to-day battles we all face in life.

Never forget your accomplishments – Give yourself credit for working hard! With a journal, it’s easy to write down your achievements, no matter how small or large. It’s easy to forget what you’ve achieved in life so far when you’re so focused on your present and future. By having access to your list of achievements, you can easily remind yourself just how awesome you are in times where life might seem a little down.

Consistent journaling helps shed light on your good habits and achievements while exposing your tendencies that could use some tweaking. It brings your subconscious thoughts to the forefront and helps you adjust your mentality towards life. If you haven’t tried it yet, because you’ve never put a lot of thought into it or because you’re worried what others might think, quit holding yourself back; it might just change your life.

I’m always working to be a better version of myself & hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you on your thoughts/ journey – comment below!

The Power of Affirmations: Choosing Confidence

“One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”
Dalai Lama

Confidence – a concept rarely spoken of as a choice and often spoken of as a “either ya’ got it or ya’ don’t” trait. The truth is that confidence lies within each and every one of us; and it’s up to us to decide whether we want to allow it to help mold us.

“If it’s such an easy choice, then why aren’t more people confident in themselves?”

The answer is simple – consistent practice of affirmations.

Let’s face it, we live in a time of instant gratification– instant responses, instant media, instant food. But for those who are not given confidence from our environment (family, friends, society, etc.), learning to believe in yourself and be confident in the qualities you uniquely possess requires the consistent practice of affirmations. This means training yourself to rely on your own opinion instead of those around you. Don’t wait for a certain number of likes on a photo to decide whether you’re looking good or not. Don’t rely solely on the support around you (though you should always be grateful) to help talk you down when you’re overwhelmed with work and life and losing confidence in your abilities. Don’t decide what traits you like about yourself based on what your circle thinks. Instead, rely on yourself – yes, it’s possible!

How do you do this? Here are a few tips:

Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones – when you’re feeling down over your quality of work, stressed over deadlines, worried about falling behind in school and feeling hopeless, stop and take a deep breath. Remind yourself of the characteristics you love about yourself and how they’ll help you get your tasks done. Then segregate those tasks into manageable steps!

Make an affirmations list – keep a list of positive statements about yourself, either in your phone or journal (whatever you keep with you most of the time). When you’re feeling down immediately read this list and give yourself a reason why these statements are true. Examples of affirmations include listing the traits you’re proud of or noting your accomplishments that remind you of your capabilities.

Face yourself when speaking – it’s a lot easier to let your negative thoughts consume you when you’re not facing yourself so take a good look in the mirror every morning and remind yourself of your unique qualities and the immense opportunities that lie behind discovering that confidence.

The key is to be consistent. By constantly combatting your negative thoughts with positive and resourceful ones, you’re improving your state of mind – the most essential component to navigate through life. Over time, what used to be a conscious task will become effortless – giving you the realization that confidence is a choice and anything we strive for can be achieved with confidence, commitment, and consistency.

I’m always working to be a better version of myself & hope my tips can help you on your journey. I’d love to hear back from you on your thoughts/ journey – comment below!